Lawyer jokes

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a couple of lawyers in a Porsche?

A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
A: A great place to start.

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. The other is a fish.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.

Q: If u laid all the lawyers in the world end 2 end, how far would dey reach?
A: Into the pocket of the next one.

Q: How do you get an attorney out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: Theyre both squirmy,both live in slime,& only 1 in 250 million
accomplishes anything worthwhile.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: A leech will drop off when its victim dies.

Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
A: Not enough cement.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side and then on the other